How to Talk to Women on a Date
Posted: Monday, January 26, 2009
by Steve Male
http://www.skillsofthegame.com
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is good communication. Without it the relationship will whither and wilt like a flower devoid of water. The art of communication seems almost common sense to some people, but for others communicating especially with members of the opposite sex can be frustrating and intimidating.
I remember one fateful date that I went on almost 2 years ago. I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time and I was desperate to get back out into the world of dating. I managed to find my way onto an online dating site and was lucky enough to arrange a date with a stunning little brunette who was really into playing and listening to jazz music.
I myself had been attending jazz bars for the better part of the previous year. A natural fit I thought, we should have a lot to talk about or so I thought.
The date got off to a good start, we met up for dinner at a local Middle Eastern restaurant that a friend of mine happened to own. We chatted about our love of Jazz, how she became a jazz musician and our favorite jazz hangouts around town. After that the conversation hit the wall.
The rest of the night was filled with awkward silence with both of us straining to fill the void of speech. This went on for another 2 hours until we said our insincere goodbyes and went our separate ways. Ive never seen this girl again and in fact I dont even recall her name.
For days after the date I wondered to myself just what exactly had gone wrong. We had a great time for the first 45 minutes or so and then things started to go wrong. Looking back on the event she was genuinely attracted to me, but I ruined it by not conveying any higher value or creating any deep rapport through conversation.
Through a lot of studying and a lot of trial and error, Ive managed to overcome this gaping hole in my game and have become a communication machine. If you suffer from communication paralysis fear not, here are 3 simple things you can do to keep the conversation moving forward and keep your targets attention firmly on you.
1.Use conversation topics that invest her emotionally. Think of topics that might bring back fond memories to her such as a vacation or childhood memories with her siblings. By bringing up these memories you create a correlation between fun positive times and yourself. Its also a great way to show your higher value by sharing your travel and childhood memories as well.
Keep in mind that this works equally with negative emotions as well as positive ones. Avoid topics that might upset her like past boyfriends or her parents divorce. At the end of the night the last thing you want to be is that shoulder to cry on.
2.Use playful games to fill voids in the conversation. No matter how well you are at conversing with others, youre bound to come across a gap in the conversation from time to time. For times like these its good to have a couple of games that you can play on hand. One of my favorites is the cube. You can research it online by googling the cube. Its a great way to open up new conversation topics without you coming across as weird and creepy.
3.Women love to dream and they love romantic fairytales. Use this to your advantage by incorporating future adventure projections into your conversation. Future adventure projections are great because they allow you to convey your personality and they give her a glimpse as to what her life with you might be like.
Future adventure projections work like the following:
We should go on a tropical paradise vacation to Brazil. We can lay on the beach while I make us both Pina Coladas, but then youll decide that youd rather have a martini instead but no olive of course because they get stuck in your teeth.
The successful future adventure projection formula looks something like this:
You + Her + Cool Location + Funny story = Future Adventure Projection
Use one of the above or all 3 of them in your conversation to keep the communication flowing. Remember that these are just starting points and within time your game will evolve beyond them. The more you practice conversing with people, the better youll become at it.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)I like your communication tips- especially the future projection. Maybe my hubby and I can dream of a tropical island as we watch even more snow fall
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